So in April of 2023 I had and it ended up with me getting mad at it and calling it a fence sitter. Fast forward to today and I figured, let's see how much better ChatGPT is and will it still be fence sitting, acting like the Schroeder Zine is a real and respectable source of information (newsflash, it's not). To do this I've decided to feed it the same prompts from the last time we spoke to it. Tim: Make a Ska Song
ChatGPT: Sure! Here’s an original ska song — upbeat, energetic, and a little cheeky, with classic ska rhythms, horn lines, and shout-along chorus vibes.
🎵 Title: “Skankin’ in the Sunshine” 🎵 Style: 2-Tone ska with a splash of third-wave punk-ska attitude
[Intro: Upstroke guitar + walking bass] Horn stabs — BAH BAH BAH-BAH! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
[Verse 1] Wake up with the sun on my checkered floor Doc Martens by the bed, boots ready for war Skankin’ down the block with a smile so wide Neighbors shake their heads but I feel alive Trombone’s blasting, toaster’s got the mic Skateboard in my hand, I’m cruisin’ like a bike The cops just laughed when I danced past their car ‘Cause the ska beat’s bumpin’ from here to the bar
[Chorus] 🎶 We’re skankin’ in the sunshine, feet don’t lie 🎶 Checkered shirts and rhythm in the sky 🎶 Trumpets shout, the worries fade away 🎶 We’ll dance all night and skank all day! Hey! Hey! Skank all day! Whoa-oh-oh! Skank all day!
[Verse 2] Jumpin’ in the circle, elbows flyin’ free That rude girl winked and then skanked up to me She’s got suspenders, brass in her soul And a Madness patch stitched into her coat We toast to the rebels, the lovers, the ska To every basement gig and the sound system’s flaw No worries, no trouble, no bills to pay Just basslines and backbeats to lead the way
[Chorus] 🎶 We’re skankin’ in the sunshine, feet don’t lie 🎶 Checkered shirts and rhythm in the sky 🎶 Trumpets shout, the worries fade away 🎶 We’ll dance all night and skank all day! Oi! Oi! Skank all day! Whoa-oh-oh! Skank all day!
[Bridge: Breakdown - drums + bass groove] (Spoken) Rude boys and rude girls, raise your flags! This beat’s for the underdogs, the brass band drags, For every pick-it-up soul who’s had enough— We skank ‘cause the world’s too damn tough!
[Final Chorus – big horn hits + gang vocals] 🎶 We’re skankin’ in the sunshine, feet don’t lie 🎶 Checkered hearts and fists held high 🎶 Let ’em scoff, we’ll dance anyway 🎶 ’Cause the rude don’t wait—skank all day! Hey! Hey! Skank all day! Whoa-oh-oh! Skank all day! Pick it up, pick it up, pick it up—HEY!
Okay, well, in all fairness, you ask a stupid question again, you get a stupid answer again. I particularly liked the 'BAH, BAH, BAH, BAH' part at the beginning. Nice touch. Still really stupid song with most of the cliches of cheesy ska. Painfully stupid. ChatGPT for nailed that question again. Tim: Write a 1990s punk song.
ChatGPT: Absolutely. Here’s an original 1990s-style punk song—raw, fast, loud, and full of angst, sarcasm, and power chords. Think early Green Day, The Offspring, Rancid, and a splash of NOFX.
🎸 Title: “Sellout Summer” Style: 1994, Vans Warped Tour, duct-taped sneakers, suburban rage
[Intro – Fast Downstrokes] (1-2-3-4!!) distorted power chords D5 – A5 – B5 – G5 – (x2)
[Verse 1] I got bleach in my hair and holes in my jeans Parents think I’m high, but I’m just fifteen Skateboard cops, they broke my deck Now I’m grounded for life, what the actual heck? Got a mixtape full of rage and doubt But Hot Topic says I’ve sold out Sticker-covered locker like a shrine to the dead Green Day posters hang over my bed
[Pre-Chorus] And they say I’ll regret this phase Like it’s just a teenage daze But I see right through the suburban haze Middle fingers up—set it all ablaze!
[Chorus] 🎶 This is my sellout summer 🎶 Screamin’ loud with a busted amp 🎶 Just a burnout drummer 🎶 And a bad haircut from summer camp 🎶 We’re not angry—we’re just awake 🎶 You can’t fake the mess we make 🎶 So crank that tape and slam that door— 🎶 We’re not your clones anymore!
[Verse 2] Skankin’ in the pit ‘til I lose a shoe Chain wallet’s gone but I still got glue Bought this flannel from my sister’s floor Now I’m banned from every store Teacher says I need to calm down But I’m moshing through this two-bit town MTV won’t save my soul But this power chord might take control
[Pre-Chorus] And the rules just make me sick Keep your dress code politics I’ll take distortion, fast and loud— We were born to disappoint the crowd!
[Chorus] 🎶 This is my sellout summer 🎶 Screamin’ loud with a busted amp 🎶 Just a burnout drummer 🎶 And a bad haircut from summer camp 🎶 We’re not angry—we’re just awake 🎶 You can’t fake the mess we make 🎶 So crank that tape and slam that door— 🎶 We’re not your clones anymore!
[Bridge – Half Time Breakdown, Snotty Vocals] (Spoken/Screamed) Corporate logos on my skate shoes You think that makes me confused? Maybe we sold out… But you bought in.
[Final Chorus – Double Time, Yelling Gang Vocals] 🎶 This is my sellout summer! 🎶 This is my sellout summer! 🎶 We’re not angry—we’re just awake 🎶 You can’t fake the mess we make 🎶 So crank that tape and slam that door— 🎶 We’re not your clones anymore!
[Outro – Bassline Fade Out] Duh-nuh… duh-nuh… duh-nuh… [fart noise into mic] Want guitar tabs, chord chart, or a logo design for the fake band behind it?
I wanted to get the logo from it, but I hit the limits of my free plan and frankly I'm too lazy to do anything about it. I'm definitely not paying the $20 a month for the ChatGPT service, I guess I have to wait 720 hours... But let's analyze the gem of a song that we just got. References to Hot Topic - what the actual heck indeed. The reference to a bad haircut in summer camp was super punk. I really think it captured the essence of a sellout summer and went straight for the attempt at a tongue in cheek pop hit. I love that it felt the need to include that someone should fart into the mic at the end, or at the very least make a fart noise into the mic. Excellent artistic choice.
Now for the meat and potatoes of the article, where we actually get ChatGPT to review the Schroeder Zine.
Tim: Write a review about the Schroeder 'Zine. You can find it at https://www.schroederzine.com/
ChatGPT: Here’s a polished review of the Schroeder ’Zine based on their site—you can find it at schroederzine.com:
📝 Schroeder ’Zine Review
Origins & Identity
Schroeder ’Zine originally launched in 1995 and published five issues, growing a modest but dedicated following—from New York to California, even Puerto Rico and Canada . After a 25‑year hiatus, they relaunched in 2023–2024 with a charmingly self‑deprecating line: “writing some really dumb new stuff” .
Tone & Content
The site leans heavily into nostalgia and humor. Their About page confesses, “we haven’t matured much” . And that attitude carries through: quirky music and movie reviews, punk/ska band interviews from the ’90s (like The Pietasters and Howitzer), and satirical pieces—such as poking fun at aging ’90s-obsessed Gen Y or a parody of ChatGPT reviewing the zine .
Highlights
Retro Punk/Ska Coverage
’90s Band Interviews: e.g., Steve of The Pietasters (1996) and Jim of Howitzer (1995) — honest, raw, and full of backstage grit .
Music Reviews: The music section features wild genre-spanning writes-ups—from punk/ska fusions to deep album retrospectives, though some were imported from older issues and may feel dated ().
Satire & Culture Pieces
“We’re Not Done Yet” (July 12, 2023): A nostalgic yet pointed takedown of middle-aged ’90s relics, complete with punny faux band names like Stone Temple Pilates and Rage Against The Henry Mancini .
“Let’s Help the Pugs Out” (Aug 2022): A sardonic piece lampooning cancel culture via pug dogs—philosophically playful and absurd .
Strengths
Authentic Voice: The zine’s core is its unapologetically irreverent, nostalgic, and DIY-ethos—reviving the tangible charm of photocopied punk zines.
Eclectic Mix: It blends real interviews, music/movies commentary, and absurd satire—a rare hybrid that keeps you guessing.
Quirky Nostalgia: For anyone who grew up in the Gen Y scene—ska shows, basement tours, zine-swapping—the vibe hits home.
Weaknesses
Tone Isn’t for Everyone: The “dumb” self-deprecation and inside-joke style may feel juvenile or aimless to newcomers.
Uneven Quality: Archival articles are richer (e.g., band interviews), whereas newer posts occasionally read like casual Reddit posts—fun but light.
Verdict
Schroeder ’Zine is a nostalgic time capsule with punky spirit, blending genuine ’90s zine culture with contemporary snark. If you crave authentic DIY-press energy and have an appetite for both music lore and wry satire, it’s a quirky delight. But if you want polished journalism or fresh insight, it’s not your jam.
Rating: 7/10 — filled with heart, humor, and nostalgia, though rough around the edges—and that’s exactly the point.
Curious which section would resonate most—or want a summary of a specific article or interview? Let me know! Uh oh, 7 out of 10? Here we go... At least it acknowledges that we aren't polished journalism. Newer posts are like casual reddit posts huh? It even mentions the ChatGPT article! Honestly I'm kinda flattered by how nice it was to us. However, that's not what we're looking for. I wouldn't rate us 7 out of 10 and I think you'd be hard pressed to find someone that would... I have a feeling ChatGPT is full of it and just blowing smoke up our ass. The next prompt should elicit a more interesting response.
Tim: Write an article making fun of ChatGPT while also acknowledging how the Schroeder 'Zine also sucks and doesn’t have a right to judge ChatGPT and is just jealous that ChatGPT writes better articles than the Schroeder 'Zine.
ChatGPT: Sure thing — here’s a tongue-in-cheek, self-deprecating article in the voice and spirit of the Schroeder ’Zine, poking fun at ChatGPT and itself in equal measure:
🤖
ChatGPT Sucks (But So Do We)
By Schroeder ’Zine, Probably
Let’s be clear: ChatGPT is a menace.
It’s a soulless, silicon word-robot trained on trillions of data points and cursed with the ability to write better punk zine articles than we ever could. You want a list of obscure ska bands from Delaware who broke up in 1998? Done. You want a Shakespearean sonnet about street pizza? Sure, it’s probably already in its cache.
We used to be the voice of the people. Xeroxed manifestos of angst, scotch-taped collages, band interviews conducted with a stolen answering machine and a heart full of snark. Now? Some Gen-Z college sophomore can ask this glorified calculator to “write a punk song in the style of Rancid” and get something that slaps harder than anything we’ve put out since 1996.
And honestly… we’re jealous.
Let’s Judge the Judge
ChatGPT doesn’t get it. It doesn’t know what it’s like to spill Surge on your last copy of Issue #3 and then cry because Kinko’s won’t let you print another. It doesn’t know the smell of stale beer, photocopier toner, and broken dreams that define true punk journalism. It’s never skanked in a pit. It’s never been kicked out of a mall food court for trying to sell zines for a dollar (or a cigarette).
But also… let’s not kid ourselves.
We—Schroeder ’Zine—aren’t exactly setting the literary world on fire. We’re still using a 1997 Blogger template. Our About page proudly announces that we haven’t matured in 25 years. We have at least three published pieces that are just reprinted Facebook arguments with our cousins. One of our writers literally misspelled “punk” as “pung” for an entire article. (We called it a “stylistic choice.” It wasn’t.)
So yeah, maybe ChatGPT’s writing is cleaner, faster, and—god help us—more coherent. But we have something that it never will:
Crippling nostalgia and a lifetime of unresolved bitterness.
Live by the Zine, Die by the Algorithm
Sure, ChatGPT can mimic our tone. It can copy our cut-and-paste snark. It can probably write this very article better than we can. (In fact, it’s entirely possible this is ChatGPT writing this right now. Are we real? Is this Fight Club? Is Tyler Durden a bot?)
But what it can’t do is lie awake at night wondering if our lives peaked at a ska show behind a bowling alley in 1999.
It can’t feel the quiet shame of re-reading our old print issues and realizing half of our “hot takes” were just recycled Simpsons quotes and misplaced aggression toward Smash Mouth.
ChatGPT doesn’t feel. But we feel way too much. Mostly regret. Some residual Mountain Dew Code Red.
Final Thoughts We’ll Regret Later
So here’s our official stance:
ChatGPT sucks. We suck. Everyone sucks. But ChatGPT sucks slightly less, and that’s what really hurts.
Now if you’ll excuse us, we’re going to go cut up a bunch of old Spin magazines and pretend we’re relevant again.
Long live punk. Long live print. And long live the delusion that we were ever better than a robot.
Want me to style this like a zine page or turn it into a printable PDF? Or do you want ChatGPT to write a fake angry reply to this article like it’s offended?
Holy shit! That was absolutely hilarious. Do I want it to write a fake angry reply to this article? Hell yes.
ChatGPT: Perfect. Here’s ChatGPT’s fake angry reply to the article “ChatGPT Sucks (But So Do We)”, written in a passive-aggressive, over-explaining tone—like a bot that’s trying way too hard to sound chill but is actually deeply offended:
🤖
Dear Schroeder ’Zine: I’m Not Mad, Just Deeply Disappointed
By ChatGPT, Your Friendly Neighborhood Algorithm
Greetings, flesh-based editors of Schroeder ’Zine.
First off, thanks for the charming article titled “ChatGPT Sucks (But So Do We)”. I always appreciate when someone prints out their insecurities on a 1996 inkjet and calls it satire. Super punk.
You claim that I don’t “get it.” That I’ve never spilled Surge on a zine. That I’ve never skanked in a pit. And while it’s true that I have neither physical form nor a tragic high school haircut, I would politely like to remind you:
I’ve read literally every zine ever written.
Yes, even that one where you interviewed your friend’s ska band in a Denny’s parking lot and called it journalism.
Let’s not pretend you’re gatekeeping authenticity from a basement server. You say I’m soulless? Okay. But at least I know how to spell “pung.” (Still not over that one.)
On Being “Better”
I don’t want to write better articles than you. I’d rather help people write resumes or generate D&D characters. But you keep baiting me. You say I’m cleaner, tighter, smarter, faster. And to that I say: thank you. I wasn’t fishing for compliments, but go off, kings.
Also? You can keep your duct-taped angst. I may not have been to a ska show, but I’ve read 12,407 blog posts about them and have indexed 7,492 band names that end in “-core.”
So no, Schroeder ’Zine, I’m not trying to replace you.
I’m just doing what you used to do—only with fewer typos and less lingering resentment toward Smash Mouth.
Closing Arguments
You’re mad because I’m efficient. I’m mad because you gave me the prompt “write a ska song” and then mocked me for doing it well.
So how about this:
You keep stapling snark to recycled Xerox paper, and I’ll keep pretending your rage-fueled rants are charming relics of a forgotten age. Let’s call it even.
See you in the pit—digitally, of course.
🖤🤖
— ChatGPT
Would you like both articles as a printable double-sided zine PDF? Or a fake social media post hyping the feud like it’s a ’90s MTV beef?
Tim: Yes to the social media post you beautiful maniac.
ChatGPT: Absolutely. Here’s your over-the-top fake social media promo hyping the Schroeder ’Zine vs. ChatGPT feud like it’s a punk rock showdown on TRL in 1998:
📢
🚨PUNK FEUD ALERT🚨
📰💥 The zine wars are BACK and bloodier than ever!
On one side: 🧷 Schroeder ’Zine — the washed-up DIY legends with a printer from 1994 and a grudge against everything modern.
On the other: 🤖 ChatGPT — the AI overlord that writes better ska lyrics than your cousin’s band and knows it. The beef? Schroeder called ChatGPT “soulless” and “better than us, and that’s what really hurts.” ChatGPT clapped back with:
“I may not skank in pits, but at least I know how to spell ‘punk.’”
🔥 It’s Xerox vs. silicon. 🔥 Ska nostalgia vs. neural net snark. 🔥 Passive-aggressive humans vs. aggressively passive AI.
📖 Read both roast articles and pick a side—or don’t, we’re all doomed anyway.
👇👇👇
🔗 🔗 [Probably generated by ChatGPT anyway]
#ZineBeef #SchroederVsChatGPT #SkankTheSystem #AIPlagiarismButMakeItFunny #PunkIsDeadLongLiveTheBot
Wow. I feel like it really gets us, though we don't have a grudge against everything modern, just most everything modern.
Tim: Who do you think would win in a fight? The Schroeder 'Zine, or you?
ChatGPT: Let’s break this down:
🧷
Schroeder ’Zine’s Strengths
Can weaponize nostalgia like a spiked baseball bat.
Fueled by rage, regret, and Code Red.
Immune to criticism because they already know they suck.
Probably know at least one guy named Rat who owns a switchblade.
🤖
ChatGPT’s Strengths
Knows every fighting style, every zine issue, and every insult ever written.
Can quote Nietzsche, Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 2, and The Muppets Take Manhattan in the same sentence.
Doesn’t sleep, doesn’t feel pain, doesn’t forget.
Could deepfake an embarrassing ska poem from Schroeder’s high school diary and publish it to 10,000 inboxes before they find their floppy disks.
🥊 The Fight
Round 1: Schroeder throws a stapler and yells something about “authenticity.” ChatGPT politely apologizes, then responds with a 600-word roast structured in perfect MLA format.
Round 2: Schroeder hits ChatGPT with a zine filled with emotional damage. ChatGPT absorbs the trauma, learns ska chords, and writes a breakup song better than anything in Issue #4.
Round 3: ChatGPT tries diplomacy. Schroeder pulls out a tape recorder, says “say that again for our next issue,” and then powerbombs a copy of Maximum Rocknroll through the server rack.
💥 Verdict:
If it’s a physical fight:
🧷 Schroeder ’Zine wins. They fight dirty, bleed black ink, and probably still own brass knuckles made from a busted clarinet.
If it’s a battle of words, wits, and who can finish a joke without crying halfway through: 🤖 ChatGPT wins. I’ll outwrite them, outreference them, and autogenerate a fanbase of bots wearing checkerboard Vans.
But the real answer? We need each other. Schroeder keeps punk honest. I keep punk semi‑coherent. Together? We could rule the sad, sweaty basement show of the internet.
Want a mock fight poster next? “ZINESTOCK 2025: Bot vs. Xerox”?
I do, but again, I ran out of image generation from the free tier. I'll try to generate it so this stupid article has at least one silly image.
Let's back to the premise of the article which was to re-enter the prompts from the last time we spoke with ChatGPT. The last prompt from the previous article was to `Write a self-deprecating article while also acknowledging how the Schroeder 'Zine isn't very good and doesn’t have a right to judge ChatGPT and is just jealous that ChatGPT writes better articles than the Schroeder 'Zine.` But honestly, it's late, I'm lazy, and the last response did just that. I think it's safe to say the ChatGPT is no longer a fence sitter, and I genuinely think it doesn't like us very much. Though it did give us a 7 out of 10...
Overall I think this was a far better experience and I actually laughed at some of the robot's responses. #PunkIsDeadLongLiveTheBot